Dave tries his hand at stupid car names.

26 01 2008

There are some spectacularly bad names for cars out there.  Its all a result of cynical marketing really. If you want a car to seem exotic and mysterious, call its something in another language so no-one ever knows what your talking about. Take the Hyundai Tiburon. It means shark in Spanish. Around my part of the world, telling people you’ve had an encounter with a car shark means you’ve just been badly ripped off.

The thing is, it works both ways. Japan is notorious for giving cars English names which make absolutely no sense. There’s the Isuzu Mysterious Utility Wizard, Nissan’s Big Thumb Harmonised Truck and of course the Mitsubishi Mum 500 Shall We Join Us.

This got me thinking. You see, I’m an Australian. That means I speak English, but I also speak Strine. Strine sounds like English, and it actually is, but it’s slurred together into one long mush of a sentence and scattered liberally with nonsensical words. Australia is unusual from most other English speaking countries in that our initial population where mainly convicts. So while most English speaking countries were populated by people who wanted to be heard and understood, Australians didn’t want their prison wardens to understand them. Instead of developing a clear and precise accent, words were slurred together and often the only way to tell if your being asked a question is by listening to the pitch. For example, unlike the northern American Dialect were a question is clearly phrased, in Strine often the only way to tell the difference between a question and a statement is by the pitch. If the speaker ends the sentence in a high pitched voice, this will indicate they’re asking a question.

I’m not an expert in explaining these things, so here’s a link http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=KzneUfUXhoI&feature=related A young bloke by the name of Luke Devine gives some examples of strine. The first example Emma Chisit means, “How much is it?” to which the older man replies Attlebee aitninee “That will be eight ninety.” See if you can figure out the rest urself. Oh and the psychedelic floating pink thing… I think its supposed to be an echidna… I wouldn’t recommend watching the clip if on acid though…

Anyways, those who don’t understand Strine will probably not get this post, but for those who do, here’s what I’ve come up with, for a car line to sell overseas.

The Armstrong DropGut, a sporty convertible, in Australian the name means a warm passing wind.

The Armstrong Chundabucket, an aggressive offroader, in Australian it means chunky waterfall.

The Armstrong Fooktfranga, A people carrier, in Australian it means an unexpected surprise.

 Well that’s it. This seemed far funnier in my head than its appearing in print but :p not like it cost you anything to read did it lol